


Instant Messenger

by LockedHerselfOut



Category: Placebo (UK Band)
Genre: Fluff, Funny, Humour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29232135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LockedHerselfOut/pseuds/LockedHerselfOut
Summary: Taking place during BFTS era, the band start to stay in touch using Instant Messenger.Silly, fluffy fic. Oh and Bill goes from being quiet and passive to a bit of a 'take the piss bully' :P
Kudos: 1





	1. Instant Messenger

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the Placebo forum where emotions were able to be posted along with it so it may have lost a bit of luster.  
> Posted back in 2011, it's quite stupid, really but if you're in the mood for a bit of fluff.

**Instant Messenger  
  
  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Placebo. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.  
  
** **~*~**

**(Brian_Molko has signed in)  
  
**

**(Queen_of_Sweden has signed in)  
  
**

**Brian_Molko:** Okay I came online like you asked! This is stupid and I hate it already.  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden:** Give it a chance, Bri.  
  


 **Brian_Molko:** It’s like talking to a screen! It’s so impersonal.  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden:** It’s not that bad.  
  


 **Brian_Molko:** Stefan!! How did you do that?!

 **  
Queen_of_Sweden** : Huh? do what??  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : Your name! You made it not your name at all!!  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : ….huh?! Oh! You mean my personalized name. Haha.

 **  
Brian_Molko** : Mine just went to my name that was typed in!  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : Change it in settings, Bri  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : Set what?

 **  
Queen_of_Sweden** : ‘Settings’…  
  


**(Blond_Bullet has sign in)  
  
**

**Queen_of_Sweden** : Hey Steve  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : Hey guys!!! :D :D  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : How are you at least liking that new laptop, Bri?  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : It’s okay, I suppose. It can be really hard to work!!  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : Couldn’t find the power button? Hehe!

 **  
Brian_Molko** : Shutup, Steve. Technology is harder than it looks you know.  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : Of course, Bri :)  
  


**(BILL has signed in)  
  
**

**Queen_of_Sweden** : Hey Bill :)  
  


 **BILL** : Hello gents :) This was a smart idea making a chatroom for us.

 **  
Queen_of_Sweden** : May be easier than forwarding emails when we’re all over the place. This will be much simpler.

 **  
Brian_Molko** : I’m not a fan. Figures this was your bright idea MAC-boy. Fiddling away on that thing all day long.  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden:** Hey :( Our fans like our videos thankyou very much. I don’t see any of you putting time towards those.  
  


 **BILL** : Because you’re the one filming all that crap.  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : Exactly.  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : It isn’t crap! I’m documenting our tours so we can look back on it.  
  


 **BILL** : Whatever you want to tell yourself.  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : This chatroom is rather lame.  
  


 **BILL** : Of course it is, Brian.  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : I’m sensing sarcasm. What the hell is that supposed to mean!? It’s so impersonal!  
  


 **BILL** : like that’s really your problem with it haha  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : LOL. And it starts….  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : lol? Lol what? What does lawl mean? Is that how you pronounce it? Lawl?  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : LOL !!  
  


 **BILL** : haha  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : What the fuck!?  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : You mean WTF?  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : Huh??  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : haha guys, come on. Bri LOL means Laugh Out Loud  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : oh…. Well that’s stupid!  
  


 **BILL** : sigh. Of course it is.  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : Well that’s just dumb! Just type that!  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : it’d easier to put lol though  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : I guess if you want to look like an idiot

 **  
Queen_of_Sweden** : Okay guys, come on. It’s just chat.  
  


 **BILL:** Only our lovely frontman would get bent out of shape over something so silly.  
  


 **Brian_Molko:** Your lovely frontman over here thinks this chatroom is rather rubbish AND doesn’t like to be made fun of over the fact he doesn’t know all your lame little nicknames for things!!

 **  
Queen_of_Sweden:** It’s not a nickname. Technically, it’s a shortform… or a shortcut. Laugh out loud is shortened to LOL. :)  
  


 **Brian_Molko:** Shutup, Stefan.  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden:** I tried.  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : Sorry, Brian. :(  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : Oh don’t give me the stupid :( face!  
  


**(Fairest-Fiona has signed in)  
  
**

**BILL** : fairest Fiona hahahaha hilarious  
  


 **Fairest-Fiona** : Hi guys! :( Hey! Don’t laugh at my name. I was trying to be creative.

 **  
BILL** : What else do the kids say these days? FAIL? FAIL.  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : I used to be plenty hip! :\  
  


 **BILL** : In ‘97 maybe.  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : SHUTUP. We were hip because we were always uncool. It used to be cool to be uncool.

  
 **Queen_of_Sweden** : That made no sense.  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : It made plenty of sense!  
  


 **BILL:** It was cool to be uncool…. Right. Thankyou, Brian Molko.  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : You shutup, Bill. :P  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : Let’s not fight on insta chat guys.  
  


 **Brian_Molko:** Yeah Bill, it’s rather lame.  
  


 **Blond_Bullet:** If everyone shuts up in a chatroom… there will be no one talking.  
  


 **Fairest_Fiona:** Steve has a point.  
  


 **Brian_Molko:** … I hate technology.  
  


 **BILL** : Don’t you have an iPod?  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : Guess who puts the music on it? Not him.  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : iTunes? :D

 **  
Queen_of_Sweden** : ….no, Steve. Me!  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** :… oooooh. Wait!!! How do you do that?! How can you fit CDS inside that small little thing?!!  
  


 **BILL** : …  
  


 **Fairest-Fiona** : hush, Bill. The kid’s cute.  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : What kid??  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : HAHA! You, gumpie!  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : Aww shucks :( You guys love taking the piss out of me.  
  


 **BILL** : You sort of make it easy  
  


**(Nick has signed in)  
  
**

**Blond_Bullet** : Heey Nick!

 **  
Nick** : Sup guys… Fairest Fiona… Queen of Sweden… wow it’s a real nerd quest going down in here.  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : Very funny :P   
  


**Fairest-Fiona** : Oh, Nick. It’s a little more original than NICK!  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : I want to know how you change it!!!!  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : Settings, Brian!  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : Where?!  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : Look near the top and you’ll find it  
  


 **BILL** : That’s hilarious. Even I can do that.  
  


****(BILL has changed chatname to: Brian-is-a-doorknob)****

**  
Brian-is-a-doorknob:** See?!  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : … VERY FUNNY, BILL!!! Change that now!  
  


 **Brian-is-a-doorknob** : It was just a joke!  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : Guess who isn’t laughing!?

 **  
Blond_Bullet:** Are we really guessing who since we can’t see anyone through our screens??  
  


 **BILL:** ^ That would be funny if the kid wasn’t serious.  
  


 **Nick** : LMAO!!  
  


 **Brian_Molko** : lmao yourself!  
  


 **Nick** : What?!  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : He doesn’t know what that means, Nick.  
  


 **Fairest-Fiona** : Aww you boys are such bullies to each other. It’s almost sad! :(  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : lol come on, guys. Brian… settings, which is near ‘tools’!  
  


****( Brian-is-a-doorknob has changed chatname to: BILL)**  
  
**

**BILL** : I changed it back, Princess!  
  


****(Brian_Molko has changed chatname to: MASTER-MOLKO)**  
  
**

**MASTER-MOLKO** : Fuck yes! I bloody well finally figured it out! :(  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : Good!  
  


 **Nick** : Only took you a few hours!  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : Shutup, Nick! This Instant Messenger is stupid!  
  


 **BILL** : We know…Master Molko  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : Problem?! I like it, thankyou. This messenger thing is bullocks!  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : You know, Brian. You once said that about the mobile phone.

 **  
BILL** : and iPods  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : And even CDs at one time :P lol  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : well this IS stupid for sure!  
  


 **BILL:** of course, Brian.  
  


 **Fairest-Fiona** : Guys, I hate to interrupt your important conversation. But didn’t we come online together to discuss something?  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : yes, some tour dates

 **  
Nick** : Picking on Brian over the Internet was more fun though :(  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : Nick.. do you enjoy your current job with Placebo?  
  


 **Nick** : Okay okay!! I’ll shutup  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : :)  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : Sigh. Gosh you guys.  
  


 **BILL** : You said it.  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : Stefan, Bill…do you two enjoy your current jobs with Placebo?  
  


 **BILL** : I’ve been with you guys for over 10 years! :/  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : You would never fire me! :/  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : True.  
  


 **Nick** : Yeah you would lose your bassist and your booty call  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : :O!!!!  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : ?!?  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : Do your guy’s keyboards not work?  
  


 **BILL** : Wow, Nick. That was…  
  


 **Brian_Molko:** Uncalled for maybe?!?!?  
  


 **Blond_Bullet:** What was uncalled for?! I don’t get it!!  
  


 **Nick** : LOL. Steve, you know that little voice in your head that usually tells you not to talk?  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : :( No I don’t have one  
  


 **Nick** : Exactly.., so just shutup.  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : LUL!!  
  


 **BILL:** …  
  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden** : It’s L ‘O’ L, Brian  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : Oh  
  


 **Nick** : LMFAO. That was epic!! LUL right back at you, Brian!  
  


 **BILL** : LOL!!!

 **  
MASTER-MOLKO** : SHUTUP!!!  
  


 **Fairest-Fiona** : Oh god guys…  
  


****(Nick has changed chatname to: LUL)**  
  
**

**LUL** : It’s funny because he thought it was right.  
  


 **BILL** : LOL!!!  
  


 **MASTER-MOLKO** : Fuck you all, fuck this meeting! And FUCK Instant Messenger!  
  


**(MASTER-MOLKO has signed off)**

**  
****LUL:** Wow I am kind of shocked he figured out how to sign out….

 **  
Queen_of_Sweden** : Look what you guys, did.  
  


****(LUL has changed chatname to: Nick)**  
  
**

**Nick:** I changed it back, chill. God he can be such a drama queen.  
  


 **BILL** : Good job, Nick  
  


 **Nick** : ME?!?  
  


 **Fairest-Fiona** : You boys are so mean! Well done, we got nothing accomplished!  
  


 **Nick** : I laughed a few times :( …

 **  
Fairest-Fiona** : We really can’t discuss much without our frontman here  
  


 **Nick** : It’s not my fault!  
  


 **Queen_of_Sweden** : You know Brian doesn’t like being the center of any joke  
  


 **Nick** : Should be used to it by now  
  


 **BILL** : if you HAVE to make fun of someone for amusement, use Steve. He doesn’t sign your bloody paycheck, idiot!  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : HEY!!! :( You guys ALWAYS take the piss out of me  
  


 **BILL** : Because deep down we love you  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : :/ That doesn’t sound like love….  
  


 **Fairest_Fiona:** Don’t let them pick on you, Steve. The rest of you lot give me a headache. I’m going to go knit since we’re clearly not going to talk about anything else of importance.   
  


**Queen_of_Sweden** : What did I do?? :(  
  


**(Fairest_Fiona has signed off)  
  
**

**Nick:** Then there was Nick, Bill, and Stef. :/  
  


 **Blond_Bullet:** What about me????  
  


 **Nick:** Oh yeah! Hey Steve  
  


 **Blond_Bullet:** :/ Thanks  
  


 **Nick** : We do love you, Steve.  
  


 **Blond_Bullet** : Yeah… love to pick on me!  
  


 **BILL** : I don’t see the difference  
  


 **Nick** : Me either LOL  
  


 **BILL** : LOL Well I’m off to shower. Talk to you gents later.  
  


**(BILL has signed off)  
  
**

**Queen_of_Sweden:** And I should go make sure Brian isn’t using his new laptop I bought him as a new toy to take out his aggressions! :/ :/ Bye, guys. Xx!  
  


Nick: And a booty call!!  
  


**(Queen_of_Sweden has signed off)  
  
**

**Nick:** You and I both know he saw that....and then there were 2

 **  
Blond_Bullet:** Oh so you’re counting me now :P Gee thanks!  
  


 **Nick:** I was just kidding. :P Jeeez. But phone is ringing. Bug ya later ;)!  
  


**(Nick has signed out)  
  
**

**Blond_Bullet:** ….


	2. Chapter 2

**(Queen_of_Sweden has signed in)**   
**  
(Nick has signed in)**  
  
 **Nick:** We going to try this again?  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** Well do us all a favor and don’t make fun of Brian, you know how he can snap.  
  
 **Nick:** Don’t flip the bitch switch… yeah yeah, I got it.  
 **  
(BILL has signed in)**  
  
 **BILL:** Hey gents   
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** Hey Bill  
 **  
(Blond_Bullet has signed in)**  
 **  
Nick:** Where is the princess anyway?   
  
**Blond_Bullet:** Hey!   
  
**Nick:** Not you, Steve! God  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** He should be online soon, I convinced him to give it another chance.  
  
 **Nick:** How long did that take? And he knows where the ‘ON’ switch is on his laptop, right? LOL  
  
 **BILL:** Nick, don’t start.  
  
 **Nick:** Oh you guys don’t know how to have a little fun!  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** Let’s just have a professional meeting, it’s harder to read people online so be gracious and polite.  
  
 **Nick:** No wonder you were called the mum of the band the whole time.  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** What!?!  
  
 **(MASTER-MOLKO has signed in)**  
  
 **Nick:** Brian! Babe! Have I told you how hot you are lately?  
  
 **BILL:** ….  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** Little strong, Nick.  
  
 **BILL:** A little!?!?  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** LOL.   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** .... Is this ANOTHER joke I don’t get?!  
  
 **BILL:** Nick is just a moron, Brian.  
  
 **Nick:** HEY!!!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Something we agree on. This meeting is shaping up already.  
  
 **(Fairest-Fiona has signed in)**  
  
 **Fairest-Fiona:** Hello boys… everyone getting along?   
**  
Nick:** Just swimmingly!  
  
 **BILL:** Does anyone say that anymore?  
 **  
Nick:** Trendy people, yes.  
 **  
BILL:** If that were the case YOU wouldn’t be saying it, now would you?  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** And again it starts.  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Knock it off, girls.  
  
 **Nick:** Girls!? From YOU, BRIAN? Really?  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Don’t we have BUSINESS to discuss?  
 **  
Nick:** Oh look, he found the SHIFT-key  
  
 **Fairest-Fiona:** Come on, guys. Arguing online is silly and stupid.  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** I am so lost!  
  
 **Nick:** We know. It doesn’t take much with you, does it blondie?  
 **  
BILL:** LOL Nick, you’re so mean.  
  
 **Nick:** Oh come on! The kid is confused constantly.  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** Can you go 5 minutes and NOT pick on me!?   
  
**Fairest-Fiona:** Aw. Guys, knock it off! Tour dates! We have legs of tours to discuss! Come now!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Hmp! I’ll fix this! I’m Nick! “Oh Brian, you’re right as always and I’m wrong. I’ll shutup now.”  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Why thankyou, Nick!  
  
 **Nick:** …..  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** LOL.  
  
 **Nick:** . Did you have fun having a conversation with yourself, Brian!?! Pretty snazzy!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** I can do plenty of snazzy things with myself!  
 **  
Queen_of_Sweden:** …  
 **  
BILL:** … Wow.  
  
 **Nick:** ..........  
 **  
MASTER-MOLKO:** NOT THAT WAY!! That’s not what I meant.   
  
**Nick:** LMAO!!! … I mean LUL!!! Glad to know that, Brian.  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** That’s not what I bloody well meant!!!  
  
 **Fairest-Fiona:** hehe!!  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** I don’t get it!  
  
 **Nick:** Have we given blondie the birds and the bees talk yet?  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** Shutup!!!   
**  
BILL:** LOL. Poor lad. You really do take the piss out of him.  
 **  
MASTER-MOLKO:** And me!!!  
 **  
Queen_of_Sweden:** So! The dates for Mexico.  
 **  
Fairest-Fiona:** Yes exactly! Well!  
 **  
MASTER-MOLKO:** You know, Nick! You’re not as funny as you think you are!  
 **  
BILL:** But we let him think he is...  
  
 **Nick:** Oh the jokes are funny when they aren’t about you, short stuff!  
 **  
MASTER-MOLKO:** Hey!!  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** lol my mom makes me shortbread cookies all the time when I’m home. I should call them Brian cookies   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:**...  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** Sorry   
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** LOL  
  
 **Nick:** WTF?!  
 **  
BILL:** LMAO  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Gumpie, shutup!  
  
 **Fairest-Fiona:** That was uh... quite out of place, Steve. lol  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** Sorry. Nick said short stuff.  
  
 **BILL:** So the kid thinks of shortbread cookies and his mum. Dear god. What has this band been reduced to?  
 **  
MASTER-MOLKO** : You losers! That’s who! Minus Fiona.  
 **  
Fairest-Fiona:** haha! Thankyou   
**  
Nick:** Fiona KNITS in her free time... but WE'RE losers!   
  
**Fairest-Fiona:** Least I have a hobby besides practicing stand-up in the bathroom mirror on the bus.   
**  
Nick:** I DID THAT ONCE!!!!   
**  
BILL:** Oh dear god...  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** What about me?! Why am I a loser?!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Fine. And the royalty over there.  
 **  
Nick:** Which by the way.  
  
 **BILL:** Oh god, here we go again!  
  
 **Nick:** Just because Brian said you’re the Queen of Sweden at some shows a few time doesn’t men you are! Lol   
**  
Nick:** mean you are**  
  
 **BILL:** LOL 'men you are'... the irony of that typo.  
 **  
Nick:** Shutup.  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** Well, Nick. Just because one person says you’re funny… doesn’t mean you are!   
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** And the Queen’s claws come out!   
**  
BILL:** LOL. He has a point, Nick.  
  
 **Nick:** Who’s side are you on, Bill!?  
 **  
BILL:** The one’s who sign my cheques.  
  
 **Nick:** …. Thanks a lot!  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** LOL! How does it feel to be picked on NOW   
  
**Nick:** Shutup, Steve.  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** :(  
  
 **Fairest-Fiona:** Aw leave the kid alone. You pick on him enough. You deserve it, Nick! lol  
 **  
Nick:** Brian picks on him too!!!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** I hired him! I’m allowed!  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** AHEM!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** I mean WE hired him!  
  
 **BILL:** Another point made, Nick.  
  
 **Nick:** You know Bill, you’re like that annoying narrating voice on the Discovery Channel or Animal Planet!!!  
  
 **BILL:** Let’s observe Nick. A rare, annoying specie that seems to be digging himself further into a hole! Let’s watch!   
  
**Nick:** Shutup!!!  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** LOL!!!  
 **  
Fairest-Fiona:** HAHA!!!  
  
Blond_Bullet: LMAO!!  
 **  
Nick:** It wasn’t funny!!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** LOL! Yes it was!  
  
 **Nick** : Oh hey look! Brian got it!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Shutup!!  
  
 **Nick:** High-5’s for Brian for figuring it out!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** I’ll high-5 your head into a wall yet!!!  
  
 **BILL:** LOL  
  
 **Nick:** Oh come on, can't you take a joke?!   
  
**BILL:** The Nick seems to be going into dangerous territory but is continuing with no backup. We feel this specie is rather stupid.  
  
 **Nick:** Shutup, BilL!!!!  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** LMAO  
  
 **Fairest-Fiona:** Sigh. I give up with you guys!! I really do. You’re all like kids! Steve is almost more mature than all of you!  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** !  
  
 **Nick:** Yes, Steve. That’s you. Can you show me how old you’re going to be on your hands?  
 **  
MASTER-MOLKO:** Leave Gumpie alone.  
  
 **Nick:** You pick on him all the time!!!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** We’ve been through this, I’m allowed.  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** So… so much for my idea about getting anything done on Instant Messenger!  
 **  
Fairest-Fiona:** Sorry, Stef. I think your idea was intended for a more mature bunch.  
  
 **BILL:** Hey! I’m mature. Don’t put me in the same category as these guys!!  
  
 **Fairest-Fiona:** Uh huh.  
  
 **BILL:** Really!!!  
  
 **Nick:** Coming from the guy who changed his chatname earlier to ‘Brian-is-a-doorknob’.  
  
 **BILL:** Coming from someone who changed his chatname to ‘LUL’.  
  
 **Fairest-Fiona:** GUYS!! Can we please try to discuss the few things we NEED to discuss as a band. It’ll avoid constant e-mailing! Focus!!  
 **  
Blond_Bullet:** Hey!! I can put my age on my hands!!! A peace sign on one hand and TWO peace signs on the other!! :D  
  
 **Nick:** ….  
 **  
Queen_of_Sweden:** lol… well...he’s right.  
 **  
BILL:** Yes, Steve. You’re 24… good for you!  
  
 **Blond_Bullet:** !  
  
 **Nick:** … wow. Just wow. Who hired him again?  
 **  
MASTER-MOLKO:** He hits things well, that’s all that matters.  
  
 **Nick:** LOL.  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT, EITHER!  
  
 **BILL:** And here we go….  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** Again…  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Get your mind out of the gutter!!!  
  
 **Nick:** Coming from THE Brian Molko. Classic.  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** What is that supposed to mean!?!?  
  
 **BILL:** Nick has now entered completely foreign territory and is suspected to be attacked by a predator any moment now.  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** LMAO.  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Well?! What was THAT supposed to mean!?  
  
 **Nick:** Nothing! Nothing! Band meeting anyone?  
  
 **Fairest-Fiona:** Yes I think that’s a good idea! Mexico’s tour dates! We have the option of doing 10, but we won’t have any 'down time'. What do you guys think?  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Stef, remind me to sit behind Nick on the plane so I can constantly kick his seat. Or better yet, let’s make sure he’s next to a crying baby.  
  
 **Nick:** WTF?! What did I do!?  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** Plenty!  
  
 **BILL:** LOL. Put him next to crying twins!  
  
Nick: Bill!!!  
  
 **BILL:** It’s ‘just a joke’, Nick. LOL I make myself laugh sometimes.  
  
 **Nick:** And that’s about the only person you make laugh!  
  
BILL: Well you would know ALL ABOUT only making yourself laugh wouldn’t you?!  
  
 **Fairest-Fiona:** That’s it. I give up! Someone call me or text me when we’re going to have a civilized conversation! I need Advil!  
 **  
(Fairest-Fiona has signed out)**  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** Guys! Once again we got nothing accomplished.  
  
 **BILL:** If Nick would shutup for ten god bloody minutes.  
  
 **Nick:** It’s always my fault!  
  
 **MASTER-MOLKO:** How much easier was planning these things when we had a 3-piece?  
  
 **Queen_of_Sweden:** Well you did all the talking.   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Exactly and it got all done! And you say I have a big mouth!  
  
 **Nick:** I’ve heard it can open pretty wide.   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** …..  
  
 **BILL:** Abort, Nick. Abort!   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?   
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** And I think it’s time for me to take a nap. Um, I'm feeling a bit tired. Talk to you guys later! Xx  
  
 **(Queen_of_Sweden has signed out)**  
 **  
BILL:** Me too! I feel kind of sick to my stomach  
  
 **(BILL has signed out)**  
 **  
Blond_Bullet:** um me too.  
  
 **(Blond_Bullet has signed out)**  
 **  
MASTER-MOLKO:** WELL!?!?  
 **  
Nick:** lol, lol, uh I meant nothing by it, but I hear my mobile ringing. Got to go!  
  
 **(Nick has signed out)**  
 **  
MASTER-MOLKO:** … NICK!!!!!!  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

** (Blond_Bullet has signed in) **   
**  
(Nick has signed in)**  
  
**Nick:** Hey someone is actually in here! I thought I had ruined this room for everyone after Brian’s spaz attack! LOL   
  
**Blond_Bullet:** I’m playing an online game!   
  
**Nick:** … Neopets? LOL  
  
**Blond_Bullet:** No, silly! WoW! I’m 'Warrior_Steve'!   
  
**Nick:** Oh dear god…   
**  
(BILL has signed in)**  
**  
Nick:** Bill! Steve is playing WoW!  
  
**BILL:** Wow what??  
  
**Nick:** It’s a lame nerd game! World of Warcraft! It’s slowly taking over the world and it got Steve!!!  
**  
**(Blond_Bullet has changed chatname to: Warrior_Steve)****  
  
**Nick:** oh no…   
  
**BILL:** Oh come on, let the kid have his game.  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** You might like it!!   
  
**(MASTER-MOLKO has signed in)**  
  
**Nick:** Look, the Master signed in!  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Don’t bloody start with me, I had a rough day and we haven’t gotten anything discussed tour wise thanks to YOU!!   
  
**Nick:** ME?! Because you guys can’t take some jokes.   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** That aren’t funny. That aren’t EVER funny!!   
  
**Nick:** Brian!! I respect you, I really do!! And all the opportunities you’re giving me in your band! But you know what?!  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** WHAT?!  
**  
Nick:** GO  
  
**Nick:** SUCK  
  
**BILL:** Nick!   
  
**Nick:** YOUR  
  
**BILL:** NICK!!!  
  
**Nick:** BASSIST’S  
**  
BILL:** NICK!!!!!!!  
  
**(Queen_of_Sweden has signed in)**  
  
**Nick:** Oh hey Stef   
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** Hi   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** My bassist’s what?!?!  
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** Huh??   
  
**BILL:** Nick is having a bad day too, Brian. Ignore him.  
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** I try to most days.   
  
**Nick:** No I’m not!!  
  
**BILL:** So Steve is a WoW fan.   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** What’s so wow?  
  
**BILL:** No, it’s a game.  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Why is the game so wow?  
  
**Nick:** Oh god, this is LOL all over.  
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** LOL  
**  
Nick:** exactly..   
  
**BILL:** No, no. It’s called WoW  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** What?!? Who the bloody hell would call a game WOW? Is there a game called Awesome too!?  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** LOL!! No, Brian. WoW stands for World of Warcraft. It's a massive multiplayer online game that enables thousands of players from across the globe to come together online and undertaking grand quests and heroic exploits in a land of fantastic adventure.  
  
**Nick:** You TOTALLY googled that...  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** ... maybe.   
  
**Nick:** ...   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Oh, gumpie. That sounds so.... nerdy!   
  
**Nick:** Coming from the drama student.  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** I was a cool drama student!  
  
**BILL:** Didn't you once say you were cool because you were uncool?...  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Do you guys document what I say 24/7?!?   
  
**Warrior_Steve:** I like this game!! It’s fun!!  
  
**BILL:** Kids and violence these days.   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** We should have gotten him 'Jenga' and he would have been fine.  
  
**BILL:** I used to love that game!!  
  
**Nick:** Wow, did you play with pogs too?   
  
**BILL:** Yes! I collected loads of pogs!  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** Are those like the Pokemon cards? I used to collect those!   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Poka-what?!?   
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** LOL!!!  
  
**BILL:** Pokemon… wow.. I forget our age gap sometimes.  
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** Pokemon?!?  
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** Pokemon is a role-playing game involving cards and is also a TV series. The cards have pictures of "monsters" that have special powers and share the world with humans. The idea of the game is to learn how to collect as many Pokemon as possible, train them, and use them against other people's Pokemon by invoking the various abilities of each Pokemon creature.   
  
**Nick:** ... THANKYOU WIKIPEDIA!   
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** Just trying to help!  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** Stefapedia!   
  
**Nick:** Oh, Steve...  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Least he can drum and is easy to look at.   
  
**Warrior_Steve:** Who???  
  
**Nick:** And dumb!  
  
**BILL:** The pretty ones always are.  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Except me.   
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** *sigh*  
  
**Nick:** Where’s Fiona?!?  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** She says she gets a headache coming online with us... Well mostly you.   
  
**Nick:** Me???  
  
**BILL:** Geeee I wonder why!  
  
**Nick:** Oh come on, did you guys never learn to take jokes?   
  
**Warrior_Steve:** Oh I have a joke!! My mom told me one this morning!   
  
**Nick:** Oh no…  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** What did the apple say to the orange???   
  
**Nick:** Something inside me tells me not to ask.  
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** “Orange you coming with me?” LOL  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** Nothing, stupid! Apples don’t talk!!! LOL   
  
**Nick:** Yup, that’s why I didn’t ask.   
  
**BILL:** lol funny, kid.  
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** Gumpie, sweety, that was lame.  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** My mom and I laughed   
  
**Nick:** The brain cells run short in your family, huh?  
  
**BILL:** Nick!!!  
  
**Nick:** Sorry! I’m just kidding   
  
**BILL:** no you’re not   
  
**Nick:** Bill, you’re fired.  
  
**BILL:** You don’t have the authority to do that!  
  
**Nick:** Brian! Fire Bill.  
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** Nick, you’re fired.  
**  
Warrior_Steve:** LOL!!  
  
**Nick:** Hey!! Not me!  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:**  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** Hey Nick,…. That really ...backfired… LOL  
  
**Nick:**...  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Wow, Stef   
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** Oh, hush …. Mr. LUL  
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** HEY!!!  
  
**BILL:** LOL  
  
**Nick:** Stef, your ‘joke’ was about as good as Steve’s 'shortbread cookies' joke.  
  
**BILL:** lol  
  
**Nick:** Steve?  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Maybe he’s still playing EPIC or whatever.  
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** It’s WoW, Bri.  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** Sorry, guys. I was killing warlocks. You should all sign up and play with me!! It’s fun.   
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** I don’t like online games. I’m not good at them.  
  
**Nick:** I thought that was sports.  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Games too.  
**  
BILL:** You can’t hate ALL games.  
**  
Nick:** I’m sure you’re great at Strip Poker.  
  
**BILL:** But at the poker part or the striping? LOL  
**  
Nick:** LOL!!!  
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** !!! Shutup!  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** LOL. Well you beat me in Monopoly once, Bri.  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** You were also wasted when I played against you.  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** That’s true… actually, you could barely keep your digital kitten alive on your Tamagotchi.  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Stupid super smart Asians and their stupid virtual animals.   
  
**Nick:** Wow. Aren’t those things for like ages 12 and up?  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Shutup, Nick.  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** I think it's 6 and up.   
  
**Warrior_Steve:** Oh I had a Tamagothci! But mine was a puppy!   
  
**Nick:** Did you have time with your Pokemon cards?   
  
**Warrior_Steve:** Yeah!!  
**  
Nick:** I NEED a sarcasm button  
  
**BILL:** You REALLY don’t, Nick. Leave the kid alone.  
**  
Warrior_Steve:** I am kicking ass at this game, guys :D!  
  
**Nick:** ….  
  
**BILL:** Leave him alone, Nick.  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** I think your constant attempts to make fun of Steve all comes from your own insecurities.  
  
**Nick:** Thank you, therapist Molko.   
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** Well think about it.   
  
**Nick:** Oh HA HA, coming from someone who has a bigger bitch switch than a teenage girl on her period.   
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** LOL!!!  
**  
BILL:** Wow… that comparison really wasn’t needed.  
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** I'm not bitchy! I'm confident!  
**  
Nick:** Ooohhh Is THAT what you call it?   
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** See? This is EXACTLY the reason Fiona didn’t come online. Come on guys. Everyone take a deep breath.  
  
**BILL:** Well said, Stefan.  
  
**Nick:** Oh right, Mr. Glue!  
**  
BILL:** Hey at least I’m not picking on Steve all the time.  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** It’s okay! I can take a joke !  
  
**Nick:** … WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO HAPPY?!   
**  
Warrior_Steve:** Why not be happy?!   
  
**Nick:** Someone bash this kid’s head on the monitor.  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** Oh dude! I’ve so done that by accident. It hurt!   
  
**Nick:** Is there a facepalm icon on here?!  
  
**BILL:** I don’t see one.  
**  
Nick:** god dammit!   
**  
BILL:** So Brian. I wanted to tell you that you did an amazing job in Belgium. Well done!  
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** Why thankyou, Bill. I was a little shaky at the start, but found my comfort zone. Almost forgot what it was like to sing without you guys.   
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** No me to bail you out   
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** Oh haha!!   
  
**Nick:** It’s “l-o-l” …or 'l-u-l' if you REALLY prefer.   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Shutup!!!!   
  
**BILL** : *sigh* Nick!! ... Brian, I thought you did a great job! Very moving!   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Thank you   
  
**Warrior_Steve:** Me too!   
  
**Nick:** Someone looking for a raise or something?  
  
**BILL:** It was JUST a compliment!   
  
**Nick:** You don’t compliment him after every night on tour!  
  
**BILL:** This was a special occasion.  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Yeah, Nick. A compliment or a pat on the back would be appreciated.   
  
**Nick:** Okay, okay! You’re right and I’m sorry. Brian… you did a great job.   
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** Thank you   
**  
Nick:** The blazer was a little big on you, though.   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Was it?!!   
  
**Nick:** A little…  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** Oh god…  
  
**BILL:** Nick!! !! No, Brian it wasn’t at all. It fit you nicely.  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Stefan!! I asked you before I went on if I looked all right and you said I did!!  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** You did!! You looked gorgeous! Nick is just kidding!  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** There are a whole bunch of pictures on the official Placebo forum, PFWW, about how great you looked that night, Brian!   
  
**BILL:** See?? Told you Ignore Nick.  
**  
Nick:** Hey, hey, HEY! Wait a minute!... Steve, you actually go ON that forum!?   
  
**Warrior_Steve:** ….   
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** Did they really, Steve?  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** I sometimes… you know, when I’m bored…sometimes, if the mood strikes me and I have nothing better to do… go on. And yeah they really did!   
  
**Nick:** LOL!!!! I can’t believe you go on there!! Oh my god, what band members go on their own band forum!? You loser!   
  
**Warrior_Steve** : You’re just jealous because no one ever puts you on the Picture Spamming Thread!!!!   
**  
BILL:** …. Uh oh   
  
**Nick:** ….. What is THAT supposed to mean?!   
**  
Warrior_Steve:** …. Well uh, ...they don’t!  
  
**Nick:** I’m sorry I’m not on our posters like SOME people in this band. I’m just a ‘live’ member!!! I’m sorry if girls aren’t jumping all over me like you, ..you blond beach boy wannabe!  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:**  
  
**Warrior_Steve:** I…I didn’t mean it like that!   
  
**Nick:** You all suck!  
**  
(Nick has signed out)**  
  
**BILL:** …. LOL!!!!!!! Steve, can I give you a virtual high-five?   
  
**Warrior_Steve:** I didn’t mean it like that He isn’t mad at me, is he?   
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** Aw he’ll get over it. That was hilarious. He deserved it!   
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** LOL!  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** … and uh… did they really say nice things about me?   
  
**BILL:** Oh, Brian!!! You looked great! Stop worrying!   
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** Besides… our fans are biased. I could walk out in a garbage bag and they’d still love us.   
**  
Warrior_Steve:** Or in an all silver suit …   
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** WHAT?! I love that suit! What did they say about that suit?!?  
**  
Warrior_Steve:** ..uh... nothing! Got to go! :D This game is getting more difficult! See ya!   
**  
(Warrior_Steve has signed out)**  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** … what’s wrong with my silver suit?!!   
**  
MASTER-MOLKO:** … nothing, love. It’s.. cute.   
  
**BILL:** Very tin-man   
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** ….  
  
**MASTER-MOLKO:** I think I hear my mobile ringing. Chow, boys.  
**  
(MASTER-MOLKO has signed out)**  
**  
Queen_of_Sweden:** Wait a minute!  
**  
BILL:** Me too See ya, Stef!  
  
**Queen_of_Sweden:** Guys?!?!   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like the rest, leave a kudos or a comment because I have to reformat it and if it's fluffy shite I won't bother LOL


End file.
